delara news Delaware Amateur Radio Association, Delaware OH   VOL 36 NUMBER 3

Joe Fischer



Random Stuff

We’re feeling a bit lazy this month, so here are some random thoughts that (almost) keep me awake at night. When our son was in high school, he was in a music class that would have a concert or some sort of presentation once in a while.  The programs were simple printed things on a few pages consisting of the musical selections to be played and the kids’ names – useful information.  The last page was taken over by the names of the school board members, the principal, assistant principal and various other people.  Surprisingly, the names of their dogs were not listed. When I travel down the road from where I live, I pass by plants owned by the city of Columbus for trash sorting and water distribution.  The signs out front identifies them and lists the mayor’s name and the name of the pooh-bah in charge of whatever department that runs those things.  Interestingly, when I drive by Home Depot or Best Buy, the names of their chairmen, presidents and various other functionaries are not listed on the store’s signs.  Why are government and pseudo-government agencies so vain? Why do commercials for medical stuff targeted towards older people have the actors doing things in slow motion? I’ve read much in the news over the years of invasive plants or animals that found their ways to our parts from China and are having a devastating effect on our environment.  Such things as zebra mussel that is (or was) making a mess in Lake Erie and the emerald ash borer that has all but driven our native ash trees to extinction.  So, I wonder: are there invasive things from the Midwest that are ruining China’s environment?  There are some pesky bugs I wouldn’t mind sharing with them. Here’s a tip: don’t go to a restaurant on a Sunday morning after The Ohio State Buckeyes have played a late game the night before.  The staff probably hasn’t had very many hours of sleep and the refreshments enjoyed during and after the game are probably still working their way through their systems.  If the game was a particularly important one, then the longest tenured, and most experienced, staff have taken the day off and left customers to the “care” of those who are too new to have been able to take a vacation day. Here is a free lesson if you’ve ever dreamed of being a project manager in a software development shop (and who hasn’t?).  First, a news flash: those dummy programmers (yes, I am one), are notorious for not anticipating unexpected programming problems.  As a result, whatever time estimate they (me) come up with is going to be way optimistic (so why did you ask?).  As the project deadline approaches, the silly engineers (me) are happily re-optimizing the design and the program for the 487th time.  And you – the program manager – are in panic mode because the deadline is going to get blown (again). Let’s look to human biology.  If one woman can produce one baby in nine months, then surely nine women can produce one baby in one month.  Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?  Ergo (oooh, I just got to use that highfalutin word!), in order to solve our deadline problem, we just need to throw a bunch more software engineers into the project.  Never mind that they have no idea how the project works, they may not know the programming language being used, they’ll need a few weeks of training (provided by the existing programmers who are waaaaay behind schedule) and will require extra doughnuts on Fridays.  Well, you – the great project manager – provided the engineers, now it’s on them to get along and “git ’er done.” I don’t care what our kids think, I still think Mr. Bill on the old Saturday Night Live was the funniest thing ever. If the Cleveland Browns ever win the Super Bowl, I will lose my sympathy card that comes in so handy.  Whenever I screw up or do something stupid, all I have to say is “forgive me; I’m a Browns fan.”  People then take pity on me (well, not those obnoxious Steelers fans) and give me a free pass.  One wonders what might happen if they ever do get their act together and start winning.  Luckily for me (or maybe not), I’m advancing through my senior years and I’ll be in that great stadium in the sky before that happens. I think we’ve rambled enough.  Gud DX es 73 de Joe AA8TA dit dit.
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